PLEASE NOTE: These cards are NOT Top Trumps.

How to play:

You will need print off the cards and cut them out. If you can't do this, just forget about it. I can't do everything for you.

Step 1 - Shuffle the Battle Cards pack and deal out all of the cards, face down, between all of the players.
Step 2 - Each player holds their cards so that they can see their top card only.
Step 3 - The player to the dealer’s left starts the game by reading out a fact from their card. The other players then read out the same fact on their top card.
Step 4 - The player with the best or highest value fact wins all of the cards used in that round and places all of them, including their own, to the bottom of their pile.
Step 5 - The winning player then chooses a fact from their next card, and so on.
Step 6 - if there is a draw in any round – that is 2 or more cards share the same top value or no data is available for that particular subject - all competing cards are placed in the middle and the same player chooses again from their next card. The winner of this hand takes all of the cards, including the ones in the middle.
Step 7 - The person who wins all of the cards from the other players is the WINNER!

Baked beans beards Cheeseburger
Cheddar Cheese Chess Chimney
Condoms Steve Cram Depression
Dutch Boy Earth St Etienne
Fishcakes Sigmund Freud Teri Garr
Gherkins The Horse Jesus
Julie Burchill Karl Pachowlski Kimmy Koala
The Floating Lawyer Luxembourg Karl Malden
Themanwhofellasleep The Marmoset Pacman
Buttplug Angry Potato Quincy
Sex Snooker ZX Spectrum
Tottenham Hotpsur Tree Stump Teeth
Time London Underground Weather
Spores Arnos Grove

Bertie the Box

Tungsten Philip Larkin Curtains
Keith Howitt New Shoes

Ol Dirty Bastard

Electricity Milkshake