STORIES ARE EVERYWHERE

(but secretly, I will tell you that there are no stories at all)

They say that every picture tells a story. This may or may not be true. I have no idea.

Each of the pictures tells a story of sorts. I was going to write a story myself, but the well is dry and I have no ideas. So you are going to write the story for me, in your minds.

Look at the pictures and write your own stories. I mean, what do you want from the Internet? Entertainment? Pshw.....you can do it yourself.

Picture 1) is a woman. Or is it? It could be a nervous Miss World contestant or it could be a pre-op transexual preparing to bathe in a bikini for the first time. It could be a manequin in a London shop window...it could be a shape-shifting alien, preparing to infiltrate the human race.

Picture 2) is a man. Is he oriental? He looks it. He could be a Yakuza hitman, or a boy who works in a noodle bar but dreams of forming a rock-rap band and conquering the world. He could be a footballer who has made a high-profile move to Europe, but has left his wife and children back home in Tokyo. It's up to you.

Picture 3) looks like a cat. But cats are rarely what they seem...the cat could be sitting there, placid and impassive as a serial killer strides down the hall, ready to garotte its unknowing owner. It could be a ceramic cat, placed in the corner of a room, and fitted with a tiny camera to record sex scenes between a Hollywood producer and naive would-be-starlets...

Picture 4) shows the face of an old man. It's the kind of face that gives the impression it hides a lot of stories. Maybe it does. But maybe it is the face of a man who recently awoke from a 30-year coma and has no stories to tell, besides the unconscious passing of time.

Write these stories in your head. DO NOT (i repeat) DO NOT send them to me. I am not interested. What am I? Some bleeding-heart liberal drama teacher? No. These stories are important to YOU, because they fire your imagination. I couldn't care less about them.