A few words from the editor:
Friends, have you ever wondered what would happen if everybody on earth clapped their hands at the same time? No, I can't say that I have either. But them, I don't wonder about much. In fact, although there may be 1,000,000 things in life that a person can think about, I have only ever thought of 4 of them, and 2 of those were by mistake. Maths is a funny thing. Ha ha.
This keyboard tends towards spelling errors. The keys are unusually close together and have a playful, mocking tone.
Have you ever wondered who would have won in a fist-fight between Giles Brandreth and the Pope (in his heyday)? No...that isn't one of the 4 things I have ever thought about either. Culture is bad. Not only do kids nowadays show their elders no respect, they don't even know who their elders are! Their arithmetic and basic counting is so poor, they actually think they are older than their parents.
I am very dubious about herbal remedies. I like my drugs to have a noticeable effect, whether positive or negative. I also loathe shirts that are too long. I prefer a shirt to err on the side of shortness, although I fear that one day I may accidentally expose my midriff. They say that as women get older, they prefer hairier men, but they also say that bald are more virile, which is untrue. Bald men are just balder. Such things are simple.
The great tragedy of human history is that some people do things and other people don't do things. Much as you might loathe murderers, rapists, fraudsters and warmongers, you have to respect the fact that they did things. It is said that some of them may even have left the house, something I have never done. I rarely do anything, and I am not sure if this is positive or not. Working on the premise that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I'm hoping that the road to heaven is paved with bad intentions. Even though my heart is filled with hatred and malice, I never actually do anything about it. This is good. On the other hand, I could definitely do more to help the poor and the needy, perhaps by encouraging them to express themselves through poetry.
Roll your mouse over David Niven's head. It won't solve any of your problems.
People often ask me what the point of life is. And this is what I say: the point of life is to get from A - B as quickly as possible. In this, the alphabet is possible the greatest form of transport invented by man. But remember: the joy should always be in arriving, never in travelling - anxiety is your friend, your only real friend. Throughout your life, you may encounter people who will tell you that you will never amount to anything. This is not true and is poisonous claptrap. The fact of the matter is that you will never amount to much - that is a very big difference.
Throughout history, man has fought man, brother has struck brother, bear has baited bear. Religions have come and gone. Yet one argument lingers like an unwanted houseguest...bold or italics?... bold or italics? I like to keep out of these matters (and am reluctant to be drawn on issues of font), but something must be said. These things are never clear cut, but for my mind, it is always better to favour italics.