A FEATURE presentation from themanwhofellasleep:

I am lonely in my black hole do not enter here

Hello. I am writing to you from inside a black hole. I don't know how I ended up in here.

I was minding my own business, walking home from the pub, when I blacked out (forgive my pun). When I woke up I was here, in the black hole. It isn't what I had planned for my life, but I guess you have to adapt to the things life throws at you. In a way it makes me sad.

I don't have a body as such anymore, but I'm getting pretty used to new existence as an all-encompassing consciousness.

I miss the simple things in life, sunny evenings, a good pint, kicking back in front of the TV watching the Simpsons and football. I can sense all the wonder and grandeur of the universe, from the molecular structure upwards, and yet I often find myself quite bored. There's not much in terms of human interest.

It reminds me of a week I once spent in Poland when I was inter-railing in my year off before university. Still, mustn't grumble. I'm trying to stay positive. I'd like to buy a pet cat.